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How do I talk to my boss about my menopausal symptoms?

When Sandra first felt the symptoms of the menopause, she felt insecure and hesitant. She suffered from hot flushes, dizziness and tiredness, which disturbed her sleep and affected her self-confidence. She didn’t want to talk about her menopausal symptoms at work. Initially, Sandra hid her symptoms from her colleagues because she was afraid of their judgement. She felt inadequate and struggled with memory problems, which led to her forgetting the content of emails or details from meetings…

Like many women, she initially thought that the topic of menopause should be avoided in the workplace.

But she knew she could no longer keep quiet about it.

Then she plucked up the courage to speak to her line manager who, to her relief, was understanding. She realised that it was not taboo for her boss to talk about «women’s problems».

Together they agreed on a flexible work schedule that gave Sandra a day off every fortnight. This adjustment made a big difference and eased her mental strain.

Sounds good… BUT it’s different for me.

How do I talk to my boss about my menopausal symptoms?

Yes, some people find it difficult to talk to their boss about their problems, especially when it comes to the menopause.

However, your line manager is responsible for creating the right conditions for you to perform at your best.

We have put together a suggestion to help you have a successful conversation:

5 steps to a successful conversation with my boss.

1. prepare for the interview

Good preparation is important to help both of you. This will help both sides to have a good, constructive conversation.

But starting the conversation is often the most difficult part. Therefore, write down the first 2-3 sentences if it gives you confidence.

You should think about the following points for the conversation:

1. Find out what support is available in your organisation. Search your organisation’s intranet or speak to the HR department if you can’t find anything there.
2. Keep a diary/list of your menopause symptoms and describe how they affect you. You can also use our symptom checker for this.
3. Think about what practical, reasonable adjustments could help you to perform at your best. Show that you are flexible and ideally consider different options.
4. These adjustments can also be for a short period of time while you work with your professional to alleviate your symptoms. 

2. make an appointment

Ask your manager for a confidential meeting in a safe space, but not their office. Allow enough time so that you are not rushed. It’s also a good idea to mention the topic of the menopause in advance. You can mention our website www.TheWomenCircle.ch. This will allow your boss to prepare accordingly. Feel free to mention that you want to find solutions together so that you can perform at your best.

If you can’t bring yourself to talk to your line manager, contact your HR department, who will certainly be able to help you.

3. let them know whether you want the conversation to be confidential or not

Do you want the conversation to remain confidential? You can decide this. Some of us are happy to talk openly about the menopause, others are not. If you want it to be confidential, let us know when you make the appointment.

4. explain the situation

Explain your situation clearly. Talk about 

1. how the menopause is affecting you,
2. what this means for your work, 
3. what you are doing to cope with your menopausal symptoms,
4. and what your manager can do to help you. 

Assume that your manager knows little or nothing about the menopause. Also offer him information where he can find out for himself (e.g. www.TheWomenCirlcle.ch).

Now agree with your manager what should be done next to achieve which goal. Your boss may also need time to gather information and consider what support is possible.

5. plan a follow-up meeting

When you have finished talking, arrange a follow-up appointment to monitor progress and get an update.

The symptoms of menopause can change over time and should therefore be monitored.

Conclusion

Finding joint solutions helps everyone involved. This requires dialogue. Your company can only support you if they know about your menopausal symptoms. That’s why it’s important to talk to them.

The Women Circle also offers 2×90 minute Menopause Awareness Sessions for companies, where we openly address the topic and discuss how to deal with it.

Joëlle & Adrian