TWC #078: Menopause and anger at husbands: The anger is real
Dear MHI Reader
A less discussed but very real challenge is the intense anger that some women feel, especially towards their husbands. If you are in your 40s or 50s, your menopausal symptoms may have something to do with it.
This is normal and happens to many women at this age. Understanding why you are angry can help you deal with it. This helps the relationship and couples to get through this time together.
Why you are angry at your husband
During menopause, hormones and the body change. This can lead to strong feelings. Many women are angry at their husbands because they are their closest confidants. This anger can also come from being afraid of getting older, afraid of no longer being able to have children, or feeling that you are not being understood during menopause. Many women feel isolated with their experiences, especially if their husbands do not understand what they are going through.
Or the men are angry themselves and cannot control their anger. This can make you feel bad, but so can your husband.
The effects of menopause on your mood
During menopause, estrogen levels drop. This means that the messenger substances in the brain that are responsible for our mood become less active. We become more irritable and our mood fluctuates more. Night sweats, hot flashes and sleep disorders can also make these mood swings worse. These changes disrupt the production of serotonin and dopamine. This makes women feel emotionally unbalanced and more prone to negative emotions such as anger. Even small things can make you very angry. This makes it difficult to deal with other people, especially your partner. Over time, this can be very exhausting. Many women then feel emotionally drained and feel they can’t do anything about it. This makes them even angrier.
Mental health and marriage during menopause
Menopause is a time of change – physically, mentally and emotionally. The changes can also put a strain on a marriage. Many women feel misunderstood and unsupported. Because hormones are going crazy, women are often emotionally more unstable. This can lead to problems in marriage. If couples don’t talk about the feelings that menopause triggers, it can lead to arguments. Counseling or open communication can help couples get through this difficult time and strengthen their relationship. Many couples find that talking about menopause improves their relationship in the long term. Sharing your feelings and supporting each other can help you feel less alone as a couple.
Menopause symptoms and their effect on intimacy
As estrogen levels drop, many women have less desire for sex. In addition, symptoms such as vaginal dryness and pain during intercourse often occur. These changes can cause frustration and make you avoid intimacy. This can lead to tension in the relationship. When intimacy hurts, emotional closeness also suffers. This intensifies the feeling of not being good enough. Women may fear that they will be rejected or that they will no longer find their partner attractive. This is why they withdraw emotionally. Through open discussion and medical measures such as hormone replacement therapy or lubricants, these problems can be addressed and physical intimacy restored. When the physical problems are resolved, women can regain confidence in their sexual relationships. In addition, new ways of forming emotional bonds can help them to get closer again.
Natural supplements and remedies for managing menopause anger
Managing anger during menopause involves both medical and natural methods. Supplements such as our Meno Mood can help balance mood swings, while yoga and mindfulness techniques are effective at reducing stress and promoting emotional stability. Exercise is also an excellent mood-regulating tool because it releases endorphins, the body’s “feel-good” chemicals, which can help reduce anger and frustration. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) not only helps with anxiety and mood swings, but also promotes healthier thinking patterns that reduce the intensity of negative emotions such as anger. Incorporating these strategies into your daily routine can help to gradually improve your mood and reduce tension in your relationships. It is also important to develop a consistent self-care routine that emphasizes relaxation and mindfulness, as this can help to reduce emotional swings. Finding a supportive community or talking to others who have had similar experiences can also be very reassuring.
The Husband Survival Toolkit: Understanding and empathy
Men also find their wives› menopause challenging. Husbands sometimes don’t understand what their wives are going through. This can lead to confusion or frustration. If husbands educate themselves about the menopause, they can better support their wives. This way, they can avoid unintentionally making the situation worse for their wives. Simple gestures, such as asking how she is doing or saying that you understand how difficult the transition is, can help. Empathy and patience help to create a sense of partnership. This can prevent feelings of isolation or resentment from dominating the relationship. Couples can also learn together how to best support each other. By doing this together, they can strengthen their relationship.
The bottom line: Managing menopause anger together
Menopause is not easy. It can bring anger, frustration, and emotional problems. But it can be survived. Through open communication, hormone treatments, and alternative therapies, women are finding their balance again. Both partners need to work together and understand that they react differently to the changes. When couples work together and understand the source of their anger, they can strengthen their relationship and get through menopause together. With mutual understanding, menopause can be a good time for the relationship. Couples who go on this journey together often grow even closer afterwards.
Checklist for husbands
Here’s how you can support your wife.
ð She may not be in the mood for sex, but she may want intimacy. Ask her what she is thinking.
ð Show compassion without offering solutions. Your ear may be all she needs.
ð Ask her if she wants your support at doctor’s appointments.
ð Allow your wife time to relax.
ð Be considerate.